Saturday, September 11, 2010

Control yourself, take only what you need from me.

I woke up today feeling like utter crap. Basically going to the game last night just made me more depressed. Looking around seeing everybody who was having a great time. My friend Cassie (who's a year older than me..different person from Carrie) was hanging out with a guy the whole time. I texted her something like "Cassie! I can see you!"

She responded back "haha heyy girl.:)" I said something Like "I'm sitting behind you!" and she NEVER responded back. Typical. Story of my life. She was to busy in the super fan section, with guys literally all around her. Of course she can get guys, she has beautiful natural beauty, blonde, tall and skinny.

The picture explains all. I remember when I lost my phone for two weeks, I had checked it when i finally found it and didn't have any messages. Not a one. The only text messages I get are from my ana texting buddies. Nobody in RL or at my school talks to me.

Basically I'm so behind in the social area. I've never had a boyfriend, nor have I ever gotten close. The kids below my grade are doing better with guys than I am. It's so depressing to even think about.

Well, going on about whats going to happen today. I have to clean my room and I'm fasting again. people were getting suspicious so I ate a slice of pizza. but it's going to be easy to fast today. My mom and dad are at a funeral, my brother is hanging with his friends and later in the day I'm going to this church service thing. So luckily I'll be away from my moms grasps all day. Yess. That reminds me, somehow I'm down two pounds even though I did a very crappy job with my fast. -_- Two pounds closer to my first GW.


Probably not.
I'll never measure up.


  1. Don't worry, it's not just you... I tend to look at my phone and see "0 messages" glaring back at me too. And I've never had a boyfriend either, in fact, I don't even know any boys. :o
    Well done for the weight loss though. :)
    Evie x

  2. I don't know how to follow you but I really, really want to! You're so awesome. Point is, that happens to me a lot. I think we should stress less about stuff like that. :) I'm considering becoming a hermit so it won't matter what I have/haven't done. You know? <3

  3. Your blog is like the story of my life! Don't stress over people like that, if they're not going to make the effort to talk to you then they are not good enough for you, and despite how confident or pretty they seem they are no better than you- remember that!
    I wish I could follow your blog but I can't find the link D:

  4. ahhh, this is me like...everyday. ):
    things like that makes me want to dissapearrr, as if i'm not already invisible.

    congrats on the weight loss :) you can get thereeee! xo