Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Things will end before they start.

I'm really bad at responding to comments, but I do read them all, I hope you guys know that.

Today was fine I guess. At lunch I had a couple of pretzels, I'm guess around 80 calories. Then I had my daily cheese and crackers. I was just getting ready to heat up some cup of noodles but then my dad came and yelled at me, for the dumbest thing ever. I left a pieces of paper on his desk. Accidentally.
He was like: "You always leave crap everywhere! This place is not you're dumping ground!"
I was already all the way up stairs and my hands were full with my soup and some other things.
Me:" Well, I can't grab right now can you just leave it on the stairs for me."
Him: "NO! the stairs is not a fucking filing cabinet for you shit! Pick it up now or I'll throw it away!"

Dumbest thing ever. I have no desire to eat the soup thats next to me now. It just screams worthless, fat and pathetic. Espesially bevause I went up in weight because of my period/ I'm such a failure. This is the first time it's come since....February or January I think. It's verry irregular due to endos and all that. -.-
So total calorie count today: 420.

I'm going to try not to have anymore. But I don't know how I'll do that because my mom hasn't made dinner yet. I'm going to go take a bath or something to calm my nerves, then work on a bunch of homework and study because I'm effing stupid and need to.

Owen is confusing me beyond end. Me literally taped me up today. He came up to me and said he had a present for me, then held up the tape and started taping in all around my body. I had had my hair up all day but decided to take it down. He taped my hair down!

Me: "Owen! You douche bag! When you went around my back you taped my hair along with it!"
Him: "Ohh dang. My Bad....I'm so sorry. :("
Me: "Get my some siccors or something- not that I can even move my arms. -.-"

It hurt like a mofo, The tap was stuck to my hair and I had to rip it off. It literally starting making me cry in class it hurt so bad. This kid named Zack who is really nice said: "Do you need some help?" With a totally nice/strait/sincere face. Me being the jerk I am said no. I've noticed him before. He seems..interesting, but sad in a strange way as well. Makes me wonder if everything is alright with him. But yeah, I ended up asking him if their was any tape still on my back and he said yes and started helping me. Then Owen finally jumped in and took over. -_- Douche bag.
It's like wtf are you doing, you have a girlfriend, stop flirting with every girl you see. Not to mention, her girlfriend is incredibly skinny.

Why would he find me pretty. I'm lifeless, soulless. The personality has been sucked out of me, causing me to hurt everyone around me. Don't become another one of my heartless victims.


  1. I am so bad at replying to comments too.
    Owen sounds... Like such a guy. Zack sounds nice though.

    Parents completely over-react to little things like that. It makes no sense at all. :/

  2. hey sweety!

    urgh, your dad sounds like mine. he always seems to start an argument just before i eat, which ends in me not eating. and can i just say? i looked on your distraction list for binges, and i have never met anyone who downloads custom content for sims 2! i though i was just sad :p

    hehehehe, just thought i'd say. stay strong darling, you're beautiful xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. Gah parents suck :[. You're not stupid. I think you're great and gorgeous. Take care chickaroo xoxox