Sunday, April 3, 2011
She's a lonely soul
I feel physically sick right now. With my life and everything in general. I was doing really well with food today then ate half of a brownie and now I want to throw up. I feel so awful.
I didn't go to school on Friday. WHY? Because I'm freaking wuss and a failure. I didn't want to go to any of my classes because I wasn't prepared. 2 out of 3 classes that day I was having tests. This isn't the first time I've done this. Nope. It's just so overwhelming. Around this time last night I checked my grade for algebra 2 online, just out of curiosity to see what I had gotten on a recent test. Not only did I get 31 out of 45 on the test ( 67%!?!?!) BUT MY HOMEWORK PACKET ASSIGNMENTS IS MISSING. Its a big 0/55 on my grade, making it a FUCKING D. (excuse my french, but I'm pissed). I spent all of last night crying myself to sleep because of that grade. Whats even worse is I don't think there's anything I can do. I turned that homework set in like 3 weeks ago and just now noticed it's missing. What does that say about me? To my teacher it will say:" lazy/doesn't care ect." Because I only just now noticed. I betting I forgot to put my name or something. but IDK would he have kept no names? Dear god I hope so.
Not to mention I got 36 out of 50 on a English paper. Which I already knew was going to be bad. It was so bad that my teacher asked me to stay after class. He said: " So, what happened? This is definitely not like your normal work. I was very surprised." So now I have a c in that class. He said next class he's going to talk about how people can make-up extra points on the paper. I'm going to start working on mine tomorrow. Everyday we have quizzes on the reading from last class and every single freaking time I read, I'm just not good at remembering! I even write it down and I forget! I always get 6-8 out of 10! Which also brings my grade down. Besides those horrible grades, I have all A's. I wrote down all my crappy grades on my piece of paper and taped on the ceiling directly above my head where I sleep. That way I can't avoid it.
But seriously, I feeling like the dumbest pieces of crap. And I really need a friend.
I'm spending my whole Sunday studying and doing extra work for school. I actually had a lot more to talk about what happened today but I got off on a tangent of school.
Off to do 300 sit-ups and jumping jackssss.