Friday, January 13, 2012

Apparently I'm Emotionless.

Finally posting.I'm been super stressed with school. I have a four day weekend (thank god!) Three days of school and then next week is finals. Pretty nervous. I really want to get all A's...or i might cry..hmm yep.

Things have been....meh. The same crap as usual. We changed seats in math and I'm pissed. I was finally sitting by normal people who actually did work on the in class work and group tests now I'm stuck witch a bunch of idiots. One always leaves and joined others tables, selfishly always ensuring he gets good scores instead of actually helping our table. The other one is barely ever there because of cross country. And the third is annoying as hell and pisses me off.
His name is...Deqwandre? I think. Either way hes loud obnoxious and rude. On Thursday,( the last day I had that class) he told me this:

Him: "Yo why are you always so chill?"
"What do you mean.."
"You let me take your calculator everyday and you never say anything, you barely ever barely ever smile!"
Me: "Well I just figure it nice to share, especially if using the calculator helps you understand the notes I figure-"
"You are literally one of the most emotionless people I have ever met. Seriously, have you ever been hugged, like a day in your life?"
*Looks over to the table behind this* "Haha are you guys hearing this? " (The table behind us proceeds to laugh)

I was between fuming and depressed. Not only did this comment piss me off but it only confirmed all the insecurities I have with talking people I don't know. Instantly at that point I wanted to cry and crawl into a ball.
Obviously I know I am a freakin emotionless robot. Which is why I cry myself to sleep a lot, somehow I manage to have that concept of emotion down.

I'm going to be alone forever. Fat forever. Ugly forever. I'm going to bed now. I'm going to cry and write in my journal. Made a new years resolution to draw everyday, so far I stuck to it. Should probably do that to.

Maybe I should draw a robot- oh, wait, I already have.

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