Saturday, January 1, 2011

It begins

Feel like it's been a while since I posted. So, here I am. I didn't post because I felt so unloved but I've gotten over that like I always do.

Lets see, on Thursday my mom's friends came over, along with their kids and husbands. It was a miserable. There was a kid that came, his name was Chase. I've know him my entire life and he bugs THE FREAKING CRAP OUT OF ME. He's has ADHD and act's like a know it all and it pisses me off. Whats worse, is that he likes me. Or at least he used to. He told me that in 7th grade. Crossing my fingers he's moved on. -_-

On Friday I went to a friend's house for a party. It was really awkward at first but then things kicked off. It was just a chill party though. It made me realized how incredibly lame I am. But later in the party we made each other faint. Yeah, that's right, faint. LIKE THIS (not my video). It was kinda fun. I know I shouldn't joke about this, knowing people with ED's can blackout/faint. I've come close but never have. This was trippy though. Everyone reacted differently. Some people twitched a crap load, some people rolled there eyes...ect. I just went down. I fell own sluggishly, like I feel asleep. Apparently I took the longest to wake up. o_O I even had a dream. It was weird, they filmed me fainting so that's how I know what happened. Later we did the cinnamon test to, but I didn't participate. XD

Now here comes the depressing part of the night. When everybody left but 4 people including me to sleep over. Everyone was changing right in there, and I realized how incredibly fat I was. Every single person there was skinnier than me. One girl was a cheerleader and she had abs. Incredibly amazing body. She was perfect and peite. Whats worse is she used to have no boobs and be shorter and all the sudden she had a growth spurt and now she's gorgeous, confident...ect. She had naturally beauty and ughhh. Apparently her "big sexy hair" is what attracts all the guys to her. I want her hair to. It's gorgeous. Long, red and wavy.

EVERYONE THERE HAD NATURAL BEAUTY EXPECT ME. WTF. 'm determined to be beautiful and thin this year. I want to be happy. I need to be happy. There's a sandwich next to me, and it's going down the toilet. No more food today. I'm cracking down. I have to do this.

Off to workout with my reebok easy tone shoes.


  1. You are beautiful honey :) Probably more beautiful than the other girls but because it's you, you don't realise. I'm glad your updating again sweetheart. Chase sounds like any other annoying little kid :/ your not lame darling, at least you go to parties. I just point blank refuse to go now. Too much hassle. You deserve to be happy. Well done on keeping motivated though and have fun working out :) x

  2. Chase sounds like a cousin of mine :/
    He thinks it's fun to call me fat. Little shit..

    Anyways, I feel your pain. And you WILL be beautiful this year, we all will :)

  3. hey! you seem so beautiful too, so don't ever think anything else. 2011 will be YOUR year!

    and yeah, laxatives are so annoying! eventually they worked, but i lost no weight :|