Saturday, December 11, 2010

How did you get this way?

Failure is becoming apart of my daily life now. Everyday now I'm binging. And because of the really bad one I had a couple days ago...I'm up 2 pounds. fml. I have no emotions left. I feel like at this point I'm so used to it, it doesn't make a difference. Though, at the end of the day I went down pound. It still doesn't make much of a difference on the other two pounds I gained a couple of weeks back.

ugh..I just. can't even..

Everyday I think about this crap. Every hour. Every minute. There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about it. The way I see it...the only way I can be truly happy, confident AND have a BF is if I'm thin.

Yet, it still doesn't feel like enough incentive. I just feel so emotionless. I've grown so apathetic towards my ED.

On the 'light' side of things, I got my new camera today.


  1. Oh love, I know it's easier to say than actually do, but don't let the apathy get to you too much; I'm pretty sure you can find something that makes you smile every day? You got a new camera? I remember when mine was new, I just wouldn't put it down! :)

    Be strong, love, think of all the beautiful things in life.

    Lots of love from a new follower!


  2. I spent most of last month binging, at trust me, 2 lbs is nothing :)
    You just have to ease yourself back into it. Cut your intake slowly, soon you'll be eating like a bird with lots and lots of allergies.

    I don't really know what I'm talking about right now, but you need to look in the mirror and SHOW yourself that you need improvement more than you need food, mk??

    oh, and meet your latest follower <3