Monday, May 9, 2011

The whole world is sleeping.

Today has been annoying. Ever single thing just arggg annoying. I 'sick' on friday last week so I missed a spanish test and a English quiz.I just felt really unprepared and stressed and just didn't want to take that spanish test. Unforgettably that class is tomorrow and I have to stay after for it to take the test. The same day I'm staying in during lunch for English.

That day was the day my brother was home so we all went to the mall. I'm going to be volunteering at the zoo this summer and part of the dress code is that you cant wear pants with holes in them. Since all my jeans have holes in them, my mom insists that we have to go shopping for two new pairs. -_- I was not looking forward to it, espesially with gaining 2 pounds from my period (I know I'm a failure, again). I tried on some jeans to make her happy and WHAT DO YOU FREAKKING KNOW, NONE OF THEM FIT AND I TRIED ON AT LEAST 15 PAIRS.
I couldn't even get them past my thighs. I had to use all my energy and will power not to cry right then and there. . I had to try on 'curvy' jeans. I used the excuse that I was feeling good and in the mood to buy so we didn't get anyway.

This just slams me in the face, telling me I'm fat, worthless and need to lose weight.
I would like to be 118 pounds again.
Then 110.
Then 105
Then disappear completely.

What sucks even more is she wants to go back this weekend. fml. I've been putting this off to long. The zoo thing doesn't even start until June 5th, which is 4 weeks away. I just feel like it's a waste to buy these jeans at such a high weight when I'm just going to lose it over the sunmmer.
I am going to lose it over the summer.

Haven't had much to eat today. Just a cheese stick and a fiber one bar. Total: 210. The rest of my calories will be spent on whatever my mom makes for dinner. She told me that her and my dad are going out to dinner on Thursday- so I plan to fast that day.

And wtf, my internet is being so freaking slow. (not to mention, none of Pt's pages are loading, WTF) Ever since I've been downloading my new way it's made my computer a lot slower. >_> It's annoying. I'm thinking about saving up for some sort of separate hard drive for my music since I have over 3,000 songs (About 16.36 GB)
Hmm, definitely a possibly.

I was going to play the sims 2 and design some houses, but eh, my computer is being to slow. I guess I'll just do homework.
Yeah I'm, that cool.

No comments:

Post a Comment